Would you vote for Ang Ladlad? (2013 edition)

Back in 2010, I asked you guys, “Would you vote for Ang Ladlad?” I then answered my own question: “I’m voting for Ang Ladlad and so should you.” After I voted for Ang Ladlad, I checked out the results from my precinct and was really surprised and glad that 17 other people voted for the LGBT party-list, which meant that Ang Ladlad won 3.42% of the votes in my precinct. If that result were reflected in the national results, then Ang Ladlad would have gotten 2 seats in the House of Representatives. Unfortunately, Ang Ladlad only got a little more than 100,000 votes from the whole country, around 50,000 votes short of the total that is guaranteed to get one seat.

This year, I am voting for Ang Ladlad again. Among the hundreds of party-lists on the ballot, I feel that only Ang Ladlad represents my interests more. While I am not expecting that same-sex marriage would be on the agenda anytime soon (I don’t feel our country is ready for that), the first step is the Anti-Discrimination Bill. Ang Ladlad has made passing this bill the cornerstone of their congressional agenda and I am all for that.

So if you’re still undecided on your party-list choice, please do consider Ang Ladlad. It is infinitely more deserving of a seat than those pretentious pet party-lists of politicians (Mikey Arroyo’s Ang Galing Pinoy anyone?).

“I’m a 34-year-old NBA center. I’m black. And I’m gay.”

I didn’t set out to be the first openly gay athlete playing in a major American team sport. But since I am, I’m happy to start the conversation. I wish I wasn’t the kid in the classroom raising his hand and saying, “I’m different.” If I had my way, someone else would have already done this. Nobody has, which is why I’m raising my hand.

When I was younger I dated women. I even got engaged. I thought I had to live a certain way. I thought I needed to marry a woman and raise kids with her. I kept telling myself the sky was red, but I always knew it was blue.

I thought April 2013 could not get any better for gay rights and acceptance when Uruguay, New Zealand, and France all passed legislation allowing same-sex marriage in their countries within 2 weeks of each other, becoming the 12th, 13th, and 14th countries to do so. The last time a country reached that milestone was Denmark back in June 2012.

But as the month was ending, Sports Illustrated broke the story on Jason Collins, a 12-year NBA veteran player, coming out as a gay man, the first athlete from any of the four American major league sports (NBA, NFL, MLB, NHL) to do so while not yet retiring. It was a watershed moment and what’s best is that the reaction was ovewhelmingly positive, from Collins’ teammates and coaches in basketball, to former president Clinton, and current President Obama.

Collins’ first-person essay, which you should really read, is a well-written account of his struggles being a professional NBA player hiding in the closet. His interview with ABC News’ George Stephanopoulos is also a good read, providing more background the the path that led to where Jason Collins is now.

I hope that this brave step taken by Jason Collins will pave the way for other players to come out or at least make the sports field an even more tolerable place for athletes who have differing sexual orientations. (All four major league sports have started to enact programs to combat homophobia in their sports.) And I also hope that Collins, who becomes a free agent later this year when his contract with the Washington Wizards ends, will get another season playing the sport that he loves as a proud and out gay man.

The exodus of BED from Malate

The first time I came to BED was in 2003, during their first year. And I first blogged about BED here 5 years ago, when BED was turning 5. And now BED has reached the 10-year milestone, a rarity in the Malate scene. Throughout all those years, BED has experienced ups and down, from the unfortunate fire that hit it in 2010, to its expansion from a hole-in-the-wall bar to its massive superclub state.

BED celebrated its 10th year with a surprising announcement a few weeks ago: they would be leaving Malate for “greener pastures.” At first I thought that they would be moving to Greenhills, but then a comment on their Facebook page mentioned the Greenfield district near Ortigas Center and it made sense. And during their last party last Saturday, they have confirmed that Greenfield is their new home, though they haven‘t stated the exact location yet or even when they will reopen.

Because I have fond memories of BED, I could not not go to that club for their last night in Malate. I guess hundreds of other people felt the same way because the place was packed to the rafters! The air-conditioning was not enough to cool the place down due to the sheer number of people and the boys were hot, literally, sweating like they were partying in BED in 2004.

So why did BED management decide to leave Malate? BED is an institution in that gay district and the idea of BED leaving seems like a letdown for the gay Malate community. The most common reason I’ve heard is that BED could not compete with O Bar Malate and Che’lu, the two other popular gay clubs nearby.

But is moving a smart decision? I guess time will tell. There used to be a gay club along Makati Avenue called Government, but it closed down I think partly because relatively few people went there due to its isolation. Fahrenheit does have a (now newly renovated) clubbing area and I think they’re doing successfully despite being isolated but their success is because F is primarily a very popular bathhouse. Then there’s O Bar Ortigas, which is also doing well, even recently having Anne Curtis gamely joining a production number that was actually impersonating her! So the question if BED will be successful in Greenfield is an open question.

Whatever the answer may be, I wish BED good luck with the move! What we need are more gay-oriented establishments in Metro Manila and BED moving to Greenfield would be a welcome development.

Other tributes:

• Goodbye, Bed Malate — Rocky (and Louie)
• Death Of A Decade — Guyrony
• The Last Dance — rudeboy
• Bed, Malate (First Part) — JM

Clinton + Callum

I just saw this great wedding video featuring Clinton and Callum, a gay couple from Australia. (While Australia does not recognize gay marriage (yet), our friends from Down Under do enjoy some form of domestic partnership.)

The video certainly brought tears to my eyes and I loved seeing them surrounded by family and friends as they vowed to become “partners for life.” And since the video is on Vimeo, we are spared the usual hateful comments that permeate similar videos on YouTube. That both Clinton and Callum are good-looking, is just icing on the cake.

I hope this brightened up your day!

On Anderson Cooper and the need for visibility

One of the biggest gay-related news that broke out in July was the official coming out of Anderson Cooper. Anderson Cooper is possibly one of CNN’s most well-known anchors and through an email he sent to his friend Andrew Sullivan and which the latter published with Cooper’s permission, he finally confirmed what many people in the industry know: that he is a gay man. And proud of it.

Cooper’s coming-out letter is one of the best such letters I have ever read. You can see how much thought he put into it and it very much reflects the level of professionalism that has made him one of the most successful people in the news industry today. In his letter, he lays out the reasons why he decided to come clean and why only now. I highly encourage you to read his letter for yourself, but here are some selected passages that I particularly like:

I’ve always believed that who a reporter votes for, what religion they are, who they love, should not be something they have to discuss publicly. As long as a journalist shows fairness and honesty in his or her work, their private life shouldn’t matter. I’ve stuck to those principles for my entire professional career, even when I’ve been directly asked “the gay question,” which happens occasionally.

Recently, however, I’ve begun to consider whether the unintended outcomes of maintaining my privacy outweigh personal and professional principle. It’s become clear to me that by remaining silent on certain aspects of my personal life for so long, I have given some the mistaken impression that I am trying to hide something - something that makes me uncomfortable, ashamed or even afraid. This is distressing because it is simply not true.

I’ve also been reminded recently that while as a society we are moving toward greater inclusion and equality for all people, the tide of history only advances when people make themselves fully visible. There continue to be far too many incidences of bullying of young people, as well as discrimination and violence against people of all ages, based on their sexual orientation, and I believe there is value in making clear where I stand.

That last passage struck me in particular. He rightly states that societal acceptance of the LGBT community does not happen overnight and only happens when LGBT people become visible. Cooper does make a compelling case that we should aim to eventually come out of the closet in order to further the notion that PLUs are just like other (heterosexual) people in all aspects except for sexual orientation and/or gender identity.

Does that mean that I will come out anytime soon? While some friends and family already know about my sexuality, I have decided to remain in the closet for now. While I understand that the more out PLUs there are the better will be society’s acceptance, the process of coming out—whether gradual or abrupt—is an intensely personal decision that depends upon one’s personal circumstances. So while a gay man in Manhattan should not have too much problem being out, a young teen in rural America would be better off being in the closet for a while.

Nobody should be forced to come out when he or she is not ready, no matter how beneficial it would be in the long term.